The Benefits of Welcoming an Au Pair to Your Family

Common Questions Answered From the First-Hand Experience of Our happyly Team

Determining your family’s child care situation is never easy and it’s a highly personal decision. Do you go with daycare? A nanny? Stay home entirely, or work from home? Having tried several of these options myself, I can attest that none is the right or perfect path for me. That said, our family has found great balance and success in hosting an au pair.

“What’s an au pair?” That is a question I get a lot! It sounds ‘fancy’ perhaps because of the French name. Put simply, an au pair is part of a cultural exchange program designated by the U.S. Department of State, in which U.S. families host international child caregivers in their homes for typically one year. Au pairs are individuals from all over the world that are under the age of twenty-six.

A Few Basic Facts About the Au Pair Program:

• Au pairs can work up to 45 hours a week and 10 hours maximum per day, and need at least 1.5 consecutive days off each week.
• Host families provide all meals.
• Au pairs can help with childcare related duties (children’s laundry, meals) but should not have housekeeping expectations.
• They need their own bedroom but can share a bathroom with the family.
• Depending on what city or town you call home, in the absence of public transport, plan to provide use of a vehicle.
• The program fee and weekly stipend total about $19K per year.
• Several agencies recruit and match au pairs to families (ours is Cultural Care).

In our third year of hosting an au pair, this path has proved an amazing and highly flexible option for our family. My husband’s job and my own both demand long hours and travel, and we often have unpredictable early morning and late-night meetings.

Our loving au pair helps provide our children with a sense of consistency by enabling flexibility in the mornings and late afternoon/evenings so our children’s daily schedules do not face disruption with sudden changes in ours. In addition, we benefit from dependable weekend support when needed, and during those times it seems both our au pair and children appreciate the less scheduled time together.

As an added bonus, our children are learning a second language (Spanish) and gaining exposure to another culture, which were huge factors in our initial interest in the program. If all these factors pique your interest, then you are probably ready to take the next steps.

Having been through the matching process more than once, here are my top tips to ensure your au pair and family thrive together:

• Remember it's your job to foster a sense of unity, best developed through effective communication. Explain clearly that their job is first and foremost to be helpful and define what ‘helpful’ is to you.
• Embrace your au pair as a part of your family and community. Being inclusive will enhance the shared warmth of your relationship. In addition, it will further encourage your au pair to perform to the best of their ability, leaving everyone feeling happier and more fulfilled.
• Create a family handbook and include things like values (being active, nurturing kindness above all), family rules (curfew, car usage, minimal screen time for the children) and welcome feedback, contributions or questions.
• Start with a clearly defined schedule to create a smooth flow in the house, such as kids’ laundry should be done on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and then be prepared to cut preconditions back as trust is formed and everyone hits their stride. It's important to be realistic about yours, your au pair's, and your children's needs being met simultaneously.
• While general housekeeping is not expected, acknowledge that in addition to the child-specific responsibilities agreed upon, being a member of any household requires contributing to basic household chores. A useful example is pitching in with clean up after dinner or ensuring their own space stays clean.
• Schedule a fifteen-minute sit-down once a week to discuss what is working and what is not, from both perspectives. If everything is great, point out positive contributions, such as the support with dinner clean up last night, or the helpful reminder that it's time to order sunscreen. Nurturing productive communication with your au pair is essential.
• Surprise your au pair in small ways from time to time, such as a gift certificate for a manicure or Target, a nice dinner out, etc.
• Provide a credit card in their name for grocery shopping, pharmacy trips, and similar necessities for the family. Some people prefer a prepaid card.

The first couple of weeks will be overwhelming for all involved. For the au pair host family, there are many details to iron out, such as setting up a driver’s license, bank account, phone and insurance.

Similarly, your au pair will experience language barriers, cultural nuances, and might struggle with being away from their familiar lives and learning the ropes of their new job. As you both adjust to this new lifestyle, make sure to be extremely patient and lead with positivity and love.

Interested in hosting an au pair? We had an incredible experience with Cultural Care Au Pair!! We look forward to hearing about your uplifting personal journeys with your own Au Pair at share@happyly.com. We may even reach out to feature your family's experience!

We welcome you to check out our blog for more inspiration from Prioritizing Practical Skills for Your Children, join as we Dream Up Our Next Adventure or helpful tips for Parents Working From Home.

Also, please take a moment to explore the happyly Survival Toolbox, including a Daily Schedule designed to create positive days at home with your family. As always, we welcome your family's highlights! Tag us on Instagram @gethappyly!